This is the world we asked for
The bounty we recieve
Naked beneath our costumes as we play make-believe
And it's nothing but the truth
But it's wasted on our youth
Your smile broke the heavens
I never will forget
I'd follow you to hell but they haven't called you yet
And I'm still waiting for my turn
And when it comes I'll gladly burn
And when the Earth begins to shake
And when the skies begin to break
Will you still call it a mistake or will you finally take my hand?
Will you finally understand?
The only days that matter
The first one and the last
The man you knew is gone now
I left him in the past
He was a very angry man but I forgive him when I can
Past love and past bewilderment
I don't know what to do
A creature in the wilderness
I'm nothing without you
You gave me something else to be
But it's a side you'll never see
And when the Earth begins to shake
And when the skies begin to break
Will you still call it a mistake or will you finally take my hand?
Will you finally understand?
The Angel of America is dying in a field under the frozen moonlight
The face of God revealed
But she's forgotten how to pray
And God has nothing else to say
There are no happy endings without the human touch
But there's no disappointment and I don't miss it much
And I guess I'll never know if there's a better way to go
And when the Earth begins to shake
And when the skies begin to break
And when your heart begins to quake
If you're the one I must forsake
Will you still call it a mistake when I slap away your hand?
Will you finally understand?
Do you finally understand?
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Terremoto (new lyrics written throughout 2011 and 2012)
I'm not trying anymore
It doesn't really matter
The dream of feeling anything has hit the floor and shattered
The saintly mess you see before you just as it was sold
Manipulating everything until it looks like gold
It shines like the original but I can tell it's fake
It takes more than a forgery to make the world shake
There are New Messiahs
New Disciples
Gods with rotating limbs that never judge our character but listen to our sins
And pat us on our pretty heads for doing as we should
Even though we'd turn around and nail them if we could and call it all a blessing instead of a mistake
It takes more than forgiveness to make the world shake
I'm leaning on the bedside table trying not to fall
I'm trying to compare this thing to anything at all
Whiskey song and cigarettes (and clearly nothing more) to keep my soul at ease
Until you stumble through the door to give me more of everything than I could ever take
It takes more than compassion to make the world shake
We take another walk together underneath the stars
We end up trading horror stories
Showing off our scars
You raise a glass to our misfortune
Cry and cry and cry
You spend another night with me an call it a goodbye
And shuffle back to paradise to charm another snake
It takes more than a miracle to make the world shake
It doesn't really matter
The dream of feeling anything has hit the floor and shattered
The saintly mess you see before you just as it was sold
Manipulating everything until it looks like gold
It shines like the original but I can tell it's fake
It takes more than a forgery to make the world shake
There are New Messiahs
New Disciples
Gods with rotating limbs that never judge our character but listen to our sins
And pat us on our pretty heads for doing as we should
Even though we'd turn around and nail them if we could and call it all a blessing instead of a mistake
It takes more than forgiveness to make the world shake
I'm leaning on the bedside table trying not to fall
I'm trying to compare this thing to anything at all
Whiskey song and cigarettes (and clearly nothing more) to keep my soul at ease
Until you stumble through the door to give me more of everything than I could ever take
It takes more than compassion to make the world shake
We take another walk together underneath the stars
We end up trading horror stories
Showing off our scars
You raise a glass to our misfortune
Cry and cry and cry
You spend another night with me an call it a goodbye
And shuffle back to paradise to charm another snake
It takes more than a miracle to make the world shake
Oklahoma Sky (May 28, 2011)
Quietly I let it all sink in
I just don't know where to begin
That thing that everybody knew but never wanted to be true
Some of them are crying hand in hand
As if that somehow helps them understand
Some of them are screaming at the sky
They know it's over but they don't know why
To hell with everyone I thought I knew
They don't know who they're talking to
I'll make those motherfuckers pay for taking everything away
I fall down sobbing on the floor
Drain the bottle
Go back out for more
I'm staring right into the sun
Reaching out for someone
Anyone
I don't want to die alone
I wake up rested and at ease
Free of all responsibilities
I'm fifteen footsteps from the grave
So you're goddamn right I aim to misbehave
Everybody's up on their feet
The party's spilling out into the street
I see you on the corner and I smile
Let's lick each other's cuts for a while
So we don't have to die alone
Everything's a sweaty smoky haze
We haven't gotten out of bed for days
All things pass away and it's our turn to step outside and watch the world burn
This isn't how I thought that I would die
Underneath the Oklahoma sky
I take you by the arm and pull you near and wait for it all to disappear
And we're still standing here alone
Everybody dies alone
I just don't know where to begin
That thing that everybody knew but never wanted to be true
Some of them are crying hand in hand
As if that somehow helps them understand
Some of them are screaming at the sky
They know it's over but they don't know why
To hell with everyone I thought I knew
They don't know who they're talking to
I'll make those motherfuckers pay for taking everything away
I fall down sobbing on the floor
Drain the bottle
Go back out for more
I'm staring right into the sun
Reaching out for someone
Anyone
I don't want to die alone
I wake up rested and at ease
Free of all responsibilities
I'm fifteen footsteps from the grave
So you're goddamn right I aim to misbehave
Everybody's up on their feet
The party's spilling out into the street
I see you on the corner and I smile
Let's lick each other's cuts for a while
So we don't have to die alone
Everything's a sweaty smoky haze
We haven't gotten out of bed for days
All things pass away and it's our turn to step outside and watch the world burn
This isn't how I thought that I would die
Underneath the Oklahoma sky
I take you by the arm and pull you near and wait for it all to disappear
And we're still standing here alone
Everybody dies alone
Heartland (1995)
Happy birthday
I hope it's a good one
A cup of coffee and my horoscope
A cigarette and a cold croissant
"It's what you want," she snaps as she closes the briefcase
She takes the car to work
I stay home
I do the the crossword puzzle and watch the news
And the blues is something that you never can shake
You can't take it like a man but you try to relate so you hit the showers for a couple hours
Comb your hair
Get dressed
Send some flowers to the Queen of Yesterday who got away
(But you'll never sign your name on the card anyway)
You say you hope she's happy but you know it's a lie
You're the one who said goodbye
Slammed the door in her face with all the style and grace of a two-penny prince
But it sets the pace in the Heartland
Six-thirty rolls around and she comes through the door with a case of beer from the corner store
We order Chinese and watch TV
We don't look at all like the lovers we see but we're drunk enough and we're lonesome too
I've wanted you since I first tipped my hat to you
So there were walks in the park
Serenades
Flowers
Kisses
Other charades
And I give in tonight to avoid a fight
Besides it's the only thing I still do right
But it's not enough to keep you true
How the hell am I supposed to understand you
So we skip to the breakdown and work on the shakedown
It's none of your business who I want to take down
You close your heart
I fall off the wagon
Love is grand
But life's a drag in the Heartland
Well the breakup hurts but mercy kills
Saturday morning stoned to the gills when I found you there in the easy-chair
You were romantic
I was debonair
So we cut to the chase
We both had a taste
But now you think I'm such a waste
I've got a big empty bed but I never sleep
I've got a Magic 8-Ball you let me keep and a bunch of books I still haven't read
You're still playing games in the back of my head and you always win
There it goes again
I can still hear you laughing
But you won't let me in on the joke in your soul that makes it easy to take what the two of us feel
Other hearts would break
But not you my Princess of the Past
Life goes on
But love can never last in the Heartland
I hope it's a good one
A cup of coffee and my horoscope
A cigarette and a cold croissant
"It's what you want," she snaps as she closes the briefcase
She takes the car to work
I stay home
I do the the crossword puzzle and watch the news
And the blues is something that you never can shake
You can't take it like a man but you try to relate so you hit the showers for a couple hours
Comb your hair
Get dressed
Send some flowers to the Queen of Yesterday who got away
(But you'll never sign your name on the card anyway)
You say you hope she's happy but you know it's a lie
You're the one who said goodbye
Slammed the door in her face with all the style and grace of a two-penny prince
But it sets the pace in the Heartland
Six-thirty rolls around and she comes through the door with a case of beer from the corner store
We order Chinese and watch TV
We don't look at all like the lovers we see but we're drunk enough and we're lonesome too
I've wanted you since I first tipped my hat to you
So there were walks in the park
Serenades
Flowers
Kisses
Other charades
And I give in tonight to avoid a fight
Besides it's the only thing I still do right
But it's not enough to keep you true
How the hell am I supposed to understand you
So we skip to the breakdown and work on the shakedown
It's none of your business who I want to take down
You close your heart
I fall off the wagon
Love is grand
But life's a drag in the Heartland
Well the breakup hurts but mercy kills
Saturday morning stoned to the gills when I found you there in the easy-chair
You were romantic
I was debonair
So we cut to the chase
We both had a taste
But now you think I'm such a waste
I've got a big empty bed but I never sleep
I've got a Magic 8-Ball you let me keep and a bunch of books I still haven't read
You're still playing games in the back of my head and you always win
There it goes again
I can still hear you laughing
But you won't let me in on the joke in your soul that makes it easy to take what the two of us feel
Other hearts would break
But not you my Princess of the Past
Life goes on
But love can never last in the Heartland
Acid Years (ca. 1994)
"Interesting times," you sighed
"Interesting times."
Just before you held your breath and slipped between the lines
We talked about the acid years
The sick and unromantic tears that everybody tried to shed until they up and died
You think it's almost over now but the pain has just begun
We may be closer to the grave but we're closer to the sun
Jenny's bleeding powder now
Eddie's got a gun
Lucy's on the wagon now
She's sick of having fun
No one talks to anyone
No one really cares
I'd love to tell you everything but you'd say it wasn't fair to make you think of what you've done
To make you understand
As long as you can close your eyes you'll do the best you can
I'm wide-awake at five o'clock
I couldn't sleep again
You're still screaming at my door but I'll never let you in
I loved you in the acid years
The sexy-smart-but-too-austere that everyone just had to be until the day they died
I still remember everything when I'm closest to the moon
I wish the best to all of you
I hope to see you soon
"Interesting times."
Just before you held your breath and slipped between the lines
We talked about the acid years
The sick and unromantic tears that everybody tried to shed until they up and died
You think it's almost over now but the pain has just begun
We may be closer to the grave but we're closer to the sun
Jenny's bleeding powder now
Eddie's got a gun
Lucy's on the wagon now
She's sick of having fun
No one talks to anyone
No one really cares
I'd love to tell you everything but you'd say it wasn't fair to make you think of what you've done
To make you understand
As long as you can close your eyes you'll do the best you can
I'm wide-awake at five o'clock
I couldn't sleep again
You're still screaming at my door but I'll never let you in
I loved you in the acid years
The sexy-smart-but-too-austere that everyone just had to be until the day they died
I still remember everything when I'm closest to the moon
I wish the best to all of you
I hope to see you soon
Aurora (August 20, 2011)
It's Thursday morning
Three fifteen
I'm somewhere west of Abilene
There's a fire and I'm watching it from here
You remember the routine
You remember when I came
Things would never be the same
There's a part of me will never disappear
But you can never speak my name
I'm moving on
Another town
Another day
But I will always be this way
Back when I was just a boy in Aurora, Illinois
Mother said I had the devil in my bones
But I was daddy's little toy
There were fires even then
It made them beautiful again
I still get angry every time I see their stones and think about what could have been
But I'm not entertaining thoughts of suicide
I have other ways to hide
Am I nothing more to you than the things I put you through?
I haven't been to see you since I first went away
It's the least that I could do
So when our baby boy turns five tell him Daddy's still alive
Tell him that I love him but I couldn't stay
Tell him that's how you survive
I still think of you
The one who got away
I miss you every single day
Three fifteen
I'm somewhere west of Abilene
There's a fire and I'm watching it from here
You remember the routine
You remember when I came
Things would never be the same
There's a part of me will never disappear
But you can never speak my name
I'm moving on
Another town
Another day
But I will always be this way
Back when I was just a boy in Aurora, Illinois
Mother said I had the devil in my bones
But I was daddy's little toy
There were fires even then
It made them beautiful again
I still get angry every time I see their stones and think about what could have been
But I'm not entertaining thoughts of suicide
I have other ways to hide
Am I nothing more to you than the things I put you through?
I haven't been to see you since I first went away
It's the least that I could do
So when our baby boy turns five tell him Daddy's still alive
Tell him that I love him but I couldn't stay
Tell him that's how you survive
I still think of you
The one who got away
I miss you every single day
Born Again (July 1991)
Take the beggar's hand and let him pray to empty gods who made his world this way
Take his broken cross and learn to feel
It's your world now
Nothing else is real
I've waited years for this
To cast myself away and to be born again
Every day
I want you in my garden dancing naked in the rain
I want you here to drown the fear I never could contain
Your lips on mine
Your hands in mine
Our bodies clean and free to share the passion you could share with anyone but me
I've waited years for this
To cast myself away and to be born again
Every day
We're no longer men
We're mechanisms
Parts in the same human machine
And maybe one day you'll come and save us
Teach us how to live
Teach us how to dream
You noticed I was crying when you sat down next to me
I almost ran away from you and your worn-out memory
"Thank me when we both wake up," you said (and I gave in)
We lay together and said goodbye and let our lives begin
I've waited years for this
To cast myself away and to be born again
Every day
Take his broken cross and learn to feel
It's your world now
Nothing else is real
I've waited years for this
To cast myself away and to be born again
Every day
I want you in my garden dancing naked in the rain
I want you here to drown the fear I never could contain
Your lips on mine
Your hands in mine
Our bodies clean and free to share the passion you could share with anyone but me
I've waited years for this
To cast myself away and to be born again
Every day
We're no longer men
We're mechanisms
Parts in the same human machine
And maybe one day you'll come and save us
Teach us how to live
Teach us how to dream
You noticed I was crying when you sat down next to me
I almost ran away from you and your worn-out memory
"Thank me when we both wake up," you said (and I gave in)
We lay together and said goodbye and let our lives begin
I've waited years for this
To cast myself away and to be born again
Every day
Chinese Water Torture (1991)
She throws a stare across the water that only a fool could miss
I swim across to her incipient kiss
She tastes like a tangerine but she makes me want to cry as I cast my gaze into an empty sky
Pray to God when I awake I know how much abuse to take
Until that hour make sure I stay with you
And while I'm lying silent there
Too smart to even think you care what the others want us to do
If you want to save somebody save yourself
I found my way to the water-hole where you were bathing too
And instantly I realized you were someone that I knew
A goddess of fire and poetry who summoned forth a flame
And brought me to my knees when someone shouted out your name
And now I've got a reason to pray
And as the world gets unbearable
And old men trade her off
And someone tells us how much we can spend
We gave up fighting years ago but we still hurt just as much
We never lost our spirt in the end
Save an extra bullet for yourself
I swim across to her incipient kiss
She tastes like a tangerine but she makes me want to cry as I cast my gaze into an empty sky
Pray to God when I awake I know how much abuse to take
Until that hour make sure I stay with you
And while I'm lying silent there
Too smart to even think you care what the others want us to do
If you want to save somebody save yourself
I found my way to the water-hole where you were bathing too
And instantly I realized you were someone that I knew
A goddess of fire and poetry who summoned forth a flame
And brought me to my knees when someone shouted out your name
And now I've got a reason to pray
And as the world gets unbearable
And old men trade her off
And someone tells us how much we can spend
We gave up fighting years ago but we still hurt just as much
We never lost our spirt in the end
Save an extra bullet for yourself
Lost in America (ca. 1992)
Lost in America
Land of the Free and Home of the Brave
Marching for my freedom in an overcoat and sunglasses
I'm still a slave
Trapped in the Eighties with a coke-nail and a rosary and ten-dollar shoes
Lots of sex and violence or spiritual enlightenment?
How can I choose?
The same pair of lips pressed up against my ear
The same sermon every day
Always that loud but never so clear as the first time they caught me at play
Land of Opportunity
Knocking everything I've never tried
I don't hate everything but can't you see how many nights I've cried
I need your sympathy
I can't take a word of your advice
"Never fall in love," she said
"Because then we get to make you suffer twice."
The same pair of eyes that hypnotized the virgins and the fools
The silver tongue of treachery that twisted all the rules
"Save yourself for politics," she said behind a cigarette on her side of the bed
"At least I gave you something to remember until the day they make you dead."
I couldn't even thank her
I just tied my tie and paid her at the door
She laughed like running water
She'd seen my kind a hundred times before
The same pair of hands wrapped around my neck
So comforting so cold
Take me underwater where the sunlight goes away
Going for the gold
Land of the Free and Home of the Brave
Marching for my freedom in an overcoat and sunglasses
I'm still a slave
Trapped in the Eighties with a coke-nail and a rosary and ten-dollar shoes
Lots of sex and violence or spiritual enlightenment?
How can I choose?
The same pair of lips pressed up against my ear
The same sermon every day
Always that loud but never so clear as the first time they caught me at play
Land of Opportunity
Knocking everything I've never tried
I don't hate everything but can't you see how many nights I've cried
I need your sympathy
I can't take a word of your advice
"Never fall in love," she said
"Because then we get to make you suffer twice."
The same pair of eyes that hypnotized the virgins and the fools
The silver tongue of treachery that twisted all the rules
"Save yourself for politics," she said behind a cigarette on her side of the bed
"At least I gave you something to remember until the day they make you dead."
I couldn't even thank her
I just tied my tie and paid her at the door
She laughed like running water
She'd seen my kind a hundred times before
The same pair of hands wrapped around my neck
So comforting so cold
Take me underwater where the sunlight goes away
Going for the gold
Nightfall (March 18, 2011)
I gave my life for King and Country
I walked the world and it was bad
I lost it all but I was grateful to give them everything I had
I made it home in mid-December
I didn't leave the house at all
I started seeing things in my reflection
I started hearing fingers scratching in the wall
I'm so afraid of what I've made myself believe today
She's started seeing other people
Anyone who doesn't make her cry
She's moved away
I wish I couldn't say that I'm the only reason why
She's waking up in an apartment
She's putting on somebody's shirt
She's making stories up about me
Worst of all it doesn't hurt
I'm not a man
I don't think I can let it go anymore
I take a train up to Chicago
It doesn't matter where I go
Step out at union station
Point my pistol in the air and fire fifteen gunshots in a row
The magazine is empty
I'm tackled to the ground
I fall asleep in a police car
I don't make another sound
Resting peace
Sweet release
Hold me close and don't let me go
The microphone is on the table
My hands are tethered to a chair
They ask me questions and the answer always is "I don't know and I don't really care."
I've turned my back on God and country
I've walked the world and it is bad
It's cold and dark and it is hateful
And it's all I've ever had
I'm not afraid of what I've made myself believe today
I walked the world and it was bad
I lost it all but I was grateful to give them everything I had
I made it home in mid-December
I didn't leave the house at all
I started seeing things in my reflection
I started hearing fingers scratching in the wall
I'm so afraid of what I've made myself believe today
She's started seeing other people
Anyone who doesn't make her cry
She's moved away
I wish I couldn't say that I'm the only reason why
She's waking up in an apartment
She's putting on somebody's shirt
She's making stories up about me
Worst of all it doesn't hurt
I'm not a man
I don't think I can let it go anymore
I take a train up to Chicago
It doesn't matter where I go
Step out at union station
Point my pistol in the air and fire fifteen gunshots in a row
The magazine is empty
I'm tackled to the ground
I fall asleep in a police car
I don't make another sound
Resting peace
Sweet release
Hold me close and don't let me go
The microphone is on the table
My hands are tethered to a chair
They ask me questions and the answer always is "I don't know and I don't really care."
I've turned my back on God and country
I've walked the world and it is bad
It's cold and dark and it is hateful
And it's all I've ever had
I'm not afraid of what I've made myself believe today
Ninety-Second Heaven (1991)
Nothing ever changes my mind
I just sit here wasting everyone's time
Waiting for my chance to grow old and in the meantime doing just as I'm told
A baby at the breast of my dreams
Sucking must be more than it seems
But here's a way to get away:
Take my hand
Hold your breath and pray and sing a happy song
Back where we belong
Close your eyes and count to seven
Slip into a ninety-second heaven
Nothing ever helps me unwind
I just sit here reading everyone's mind
Waiting for their thoughts to go pale
Waiting for their lives to go stale
I can't afford to lose you again
I can't believe I lost you to him
But here's a way to get away
Take my hand
Hold your breath and pray and sing a morbid song
Back where we belong
Close your eyes and count to seven
Slip into a ninety-second heaven
I can't hear you over the noise
Let's all of us be good girls and boys
Playing with the toys our parents gave us (as if they really thought they could ever save us)
Everything begins to slow down
The lights are moving around and around
In and out
In and out
This is what it's all about
Sing a restless song even though it won't be long
Close your eyes and count to seven
Trapped inside a ninety-second heaven
I just sit here wasting everyone's time
Waiting for my chance to grow old and in the meantime doing just as I'm told
A baby at the breast of my dreams
Sucking must be more than it seems
But here's a way to get away:
Take my hand
Hold your breath and pray and sing a happy song
Back where we belong
Close your eyes and count to seven
Slip into a ninety-second heaven
Nothing ever helps me unwind
I just sit here reading everyone's mind
Waiting for their thoughts to go pale
Waiting for their lives to go stale
I can't afford to lose you again
I can't believe I lost you to him
But here's a way to get away
Take my hand
Hold your breath and pray and sing a morbid song
Back where we belong
Close your eyes and count to seven
Slip into a ninety-second heaven
I can't hear you over the noise
Let's all of us be good girls and boys
Playing with the toys our parents gave us (as if they really thought they could ever save us)
Everything begins to slow down
The lights are moving around and around
In and out
In and out
This is what it's all about
Sing a restless song even though it won't be long
Close your eyes and count to seven
Trapped inside a ninety-second heaven
Paradise Lost (ca. 1991)
So this is paradise
(As real as paradise can be)
Straight to the heart again
(As if you'd ever look to me)
It scratched the surface but I couldn't even feel it when we kissed
Not until you'd gone away
Another face I'm never going to miss
And then the deadlights of your eyes saw through the rest of my disguise
I'm going to think of you a lot before I ever look away
There's nothing like being on your own
And in this perfect place you'd dance for me with flowers in your hair
So callipygian I couldn't even find the strength to care
And in the springtime we would laugh until we passed out in the rain
And sometimes I still wonder if we laughed because we couldn't take the pain
And I called you beautiful
And you called me strong
And the sad part is we both faked it all along
There's nothing like the feeling I get when I see you cry
Another pool-hall princess with a pinball prince to call her very own
It's been years and years now but I haven't found the strength to really grow
I still can't find happiness in the arms of a faceless silouhette
With the taste of empty kisses and the aftertaste of somebody's regret
Turn out the lights
I don't need you tonight
Go home to your loneliness and leave me drowning in mine
There's nothing like getting drunk all by myself
(As real as paradise can be)
Straight to the heart again
(As if you'd ever look to me)
It scratched the surface but I couldn't even feel it when we kissed
Not until you'd gone away
Another face I'm never going to miss
And then the deadlights of your eyes saw through the rest of my disguise
I'm going to think of you a lot before I ever look away
There's nothing like being on your own
And in this perfect place you'd dance for me with flowers in your hair
So callipygian I couldn't even find the strength to care
And in the springtime we would laugh until we passed out in the rain
And sometimes I still wonder if we laughed because we couldn't take the pain
And I called you beautiful
And you called me strong
And the sad part is we both faked it all along
There's nothing like the feeling I get when I see you cry
Another pool-hall princess with a pinball prince to call her very own
It's been years and years now but I haven't found the strength to really grow
I still can't find happiness in the arms of a faceless silouhette
With the taste of empty kisses and the aftertaste of somebody's regret
Turn out the lights
I don't need you tonight
Go home to your loneliness and leave me drowning in mine
There's nothing like getting drunk all by myself
Pinwheel (1994, revised 2011)
Amy come give your blood for me
The needle's getting cold
I'm running out of patience as my conscience loses hold
I know you thought I loved you but it's not that easy
Don't you know I'm just as weak as your last one
I just don't always let it show
Sift through the sands of trust until they blow away like dust
Lie back and let the wind wash you away
I feel so uninspired when you give yourself away
It's underneath your smile but I see it every day
Take a handful of yourself and spread it on the ground
You might have been worth something if you'd spread yourself around
Wade through the tears of time until you've sheltered yours from mine
Sit back and watch the waves push you away
Amy put down that magazine
You know it's getting late
The things we love are nothing next to everything we hate
Amy it was beautiful
But beautiful can't last
Perfect when it happened
But it had to happen fast
Sift through the sands of trust until they blow away like dust
Lie back and let the wind wash you away
The needle's getting cold
I'm running out of patience as my conscience loses hold
I know you thought I loved you but it's not that easy
Don't you know I'm just as weak as your last one
I just don't always let it show
Sift through the sands of trust until they blow away like dust
Lie back and let the wind wash you away
I feel so uninspired when you give yourself away
It's underneath your smile but I see it every day
Take a handful of yourself and spread it on the ground
You might have been worth something if you'd spread yourself around
Wade through the tears of time until you've sheltered yours from mine
Sit back and watch the waves push you away
Amy put down that magazine
You know it's getting late
The things we love are nothing next to everything we hate
Amy it was beautiful
But beautiful can't last
Perfect when it happened
But it had to happen fast
Sift through the sands of trust until they blow away like dust
Lie back and let the wind wash you away
Someone Like You (ca. 1995)
Limitless words and nothing to say
Forget the plans we had
Just hold on to everything today
I miss the times we had when nothing seemed to matter but I can't forget
Thrown out and passed away like flowers in the rain
And then the heartbeat ends
Cascades of color wash the magic from your face
And I'm left here with nothing but an imprint of the way things were supposed to be
Meaningless songs of how true lovers really feel stretched until the breaking point
Everything you were to me was real
All your hopes and dreams set to fall apart with mine
And then the breathing stops and both of us lie senseless on the floor
Mindless
Heartless
Insecure and waiting for the end
But neither of us strong enough to push the other down
And it's the end
Wildfire grows just like a thousand times before
A pretty face
A pretty soul
I don't love you anymore
You dig for paradise but something in you turns it into hell
You leave me begging here for something more substantial
But I'll still keep holding on
Your kisses killed the beauty in my soul
And turned me into something more terrible than I could ever fear
Someone like you
Forget the plans we had
Just hold on to everything today
I miss the times we had when nothing seemed to matter but I can't forget
Thrown out and passed away like flowers in the rain
And then the heartbeat ends
Cascades of color wash the magic from your face
And I'm left here with nothing but an imprint of the way things were supposed to be
Meaningless songs of how true lovers really feel stretched until the breaking point
Everything you were to me was real
All your hopes and dreams set to fall apart with mine
And then the breathing stops and both of us lie senseless on the floor
Mindless
Heartless
Insecure and waiting for the end
But neither of us strong enough to push the other down
And it's the end
Wildfire grows just like a thousand times before
A pretty face
A pretty soul
I don't love you anymore
You dig for paradise but something in you turns it into hell
You leave me begging here for something more substantial
But I'll still keep holding on
Your kisses killed the beauty in my soul
And turned me into something more terrible than I could ever fear
Someone like you
Sunnyshine (October 19, 2011)
And so they broke into my sleep tonight because they knew I didn't want to fight
But I shouted them away before they spoke their lies
They've already stolen far too much
It feels like everything I try to touch breaks into a million pieces before my eyes
When will everything be clean?
When they gonna let me dream?
When will everything they've taken be enough?
I wake up to the sunny shine and I shake my blankets off in time
Keep my senses sharp and last another day
And what the men in the street don't know is when the Servants of the Sun say go
There isn't much that I can do except obey
I tell myself that they're not real but it doesn't change the way I feel
They're telling all the same sad stories to me over and over and over and over again
And so I finally found a place to hide
And it's warm and it's clean inside
And when they speak to me their words are words and nothing more
I know I haven't got a lot to give
And I do know that I want to live
But when rthey it stops it doesn't feel like living anymore
When they gonna make this right?
Am I gonna sleep tonight?
When will everything I've given be enough?
But I shouted them away before they spoke their lies
They've already stolen far too much
It feels like everything I try to touch breaks into a million pieces before my eyes
When will everything be clean?
When they gonna let me dream?
When will everything they've taken be enough?
I wake up to the sunny shine and I shake my blankets off in time
Keep my senses sharp and last another day
And what the men in the street don't know is when the Servants of the Sun say go
There isn't much that I can do except obey
I tell myself that they're not real but it doesn't change the way I feel
They're telling all the same sad stories to me over and over and over and over again
And so I finally found a place to hide
And it's warm and it's clean inside
And when they speak to me their words are words and nothing more
I know I haven't got a lot to give
And I do know that I want to live
But when rthey it stops it doesn't feel like living anymore
When they gonna make this right?
Am I gonna sleep tonight?
When will everything I've given be enough?
Yuki (May 28, 2011)
Welcome aboard and have a look at it
This is what you dreamed that you could be
Say hello to the New America
I hope you understand that nothing's free
Now shut your mouth and stay out of the way until you think of something nice to say
If you bite my hand I swear to God I have the means to make you pay
I hope you have a blessed day
Your problem is you're too emotional
Try and let the moment come to you
I've always let my instincts guide me
Search your feelings and you'll know it's true
Have a glass of Scotch and a cigar and then I'll know just who you really are
Every little thing you ever wanted is waiting in the back seat of the car
Open the door to the New America
No one ever wants to see you cry
I've never been to the New America
Maybe I should just kiss you goodbye
Shut your pretty mouth and walk away
You should have known that this is how we play
There's what you call the truth and then there's what you know that everyone will say
I'm sure that you'll turn out okay
This is what you dreamed that you could be
Say hello to the New America
I hope you understand that nothing's free
Now shut your mouth and stay out of the way until you think of something nice to say
If you bite my hand I swear to God I have the means to make you pay
I hope you have a blessed day
Your problem is you're too emotional
Try and let the moment come to you
I've always let my instincts guide me
Search your feelings and you'll know it's true
Have a glass of Scotch and a cigar and then I'll know just who you really are
Every little thing you ever wanted is waiting in the back seat of the car
Open the door to the New America
No one ever wants to see you cry
I've never been to the New America
Maybe I should just kiss you goodbye
Shut your pretty mouth and walk away
You should have known that this is how we play
There's what you call the truth and then there's what you know that everyone will say
I'm sure that you'll turn out okay
Wish-Proof (ca. 1994)
Lonely
As if my world was of its own
Gunned down by reality and lies
Take me
I like the feel of this charade
It almost feels like love and then it's gone
And one day you may understand
My soul is wish-proof and my heart is overgrown
Stretched and bleeding
Bursting to be free
Love-stained and dreaming that my life will never end
For what it's worth you're crazier than me
And one day you may understand
Holy
And then the saints come marching in to lie with you and leave you in the rain
Kill me
So slow it eats my skin and then it tells me what a friend I have in pain
I hope I never understand
As if my world was of its own
Gunned down by reality and lies
Take me
I like the feel of this charade
It almost feels like love and then it's gone
And one day you may understand
My soul is wish-proof and my heart is overgrown
Stretched and bleeding
Bursting to be free
Love-stained and dreaming that my life will never end
For what it's worth you're crazier than me
And one day you may understand
Holy
And then the saints come marching in to lie with you and leave you in the rain
Kill me
So slow it eats my skin and then it tells me what a friend I have in pain
I hope I never understand
Young & Dumb (April 17, 2011)
Let's meet up after sundown
You and me and everyone we know
Mix tapes and twenty questions
Young and dumb and ready to go
I'll raise my hand and point the way to where we want to go
If nothing else it's something new
Come follow me to freedom
They need someone to lead them
We'll do the best that we can do
Let's drive out to the country
Climb to the top of the tallest tree
Write our names on each other's bodies
We're in good company
I think I love you just like you were part of me
I want to run away with you
You're telling me to cheer up
I smile and start to tear up
But it's the best that I can do
Let's break into the country club
Let's take off all our clothes
Let's swim underneath the full moon
Dance until daylight and see how it goes
We have everything we need
You and me and an open field at twenty minutes after two
You're just my kind of people
You're the right kind of evil
And you're the best that I can do
Let's drive back to the diner
Slump down in the corner booth
Hash browns and endless coffee
Nothing but sunrise and the truth
I'll kiss you on the lips and drop you off at six
I'll call you some time after two
My smile won't go away
I wouldn't want that anyway
This is the best I'll ever do
You and me and everyone we know
Mix tapes and twenty questions
Young and dumb and ready to go
I'll raise my hand and point the way to where we want to go
If nothing else it's something new
Come follow me to freedom
They need someone to lead them
We'll do the best that we can do
Let's drive out to the country
Climb to the top of the tallest tree
Write our names on each other's bodies
We're in good company
I think I love you just like you were part of me
I want to run away with you
You're telling me to cheer up
I smile and start to tear up
But it's the best that I can do
Let's break into the country club
Let's take off all our clothes
Let's swim underneath the full moon
Dance until daylight and see how it goes
We have everything we need
You and me and an open field at twenty minutes after two
You're just my kind of people
You're the right kind of evil
And you're the best that I can do
Let's drive back to the diner
Slump down in the corner booth
Hash browns and endless coffee
Nothing but sunrise and the truth
I'll kiss you on the lips and drop you off at six
I'll call you some time after two
My smile won't go away
I wouldn't want that anyway
This is the best I'll ever do
Zedward (February 2011)
Made it out of Williamsburg alive
Another drunken dilettant struck down before his prime
Cut my hair and learned to tie a tie
Yes ma'am
No problem sir
Until they let me die
I'm getting older
My hair is getting thin
Wake me when the fun and games begin
You've always been a lightning rod
You tried to steal my soul and feed it to your god
You say mankind is a disease
Grow yourself a big moustache and tell it to the trees
Tell me something ordinary
Tell me something true
Tell me why I'd ever follow you
Made it out of Jacksonville alive
Haven't been this angried-up since 1995
Standing on the corner with a sign
Duck and cover up your head
This apocalypse is mine
It's getting colder
The air is getting thin
Wake me when the fireworks begin
Another drunken dilettant struck down before his prime
Cut my hair and learned to tie a tie
Yes ma'am
No problem sir
Until they let me die
I'm getting older
My hair is getting thin
Wake me when the fun and games begin
You've always been a lightning rod
You tried to steal my soul and feed it to your god
You say mankind is a disease
Grow yourself a big moustache and tell it to the trees
Tell me something ordinary
Tell me something true
Tell me why I'd ever follow you
Made it out of Jacksonville alive
Haven't been this angried-up since 1995
Standing on the corner with a sign
Duck and cover up your head
This apocalypse is mine
It's getting colder
The air is getting thin
Wake me when the fireworks begin
Someone Hold the Wheel While I Smoke a Bowl (ca. 1991)
Driving down Peoria with Bryn and Todd and Mel
With a bag of something special we bought from Chris and L
I turned to Todd
And with I nod I said: "I think I'm on a roll
"Someone hold the wheel while I smoke a bowl."
We pulled into a QuikTrip for Cheez Whiz and Saltines
And Mountain Dew and Skor bars
And a tank of gasoline
We pulled away and I tried to say with all my heart and soul:
"Someone hold the wheel while I smoke a bowl."
When you're feeling sad and you're feeling blue let the THC monster take hold of you
Forget about your sorrows and get stoned
Because when your woman leaves you nobody believes you when you try to tell them you're alone
You lost your wife and you home and your dog
Because you dress like a bum and you smell like a hog
Get baked in the driver's seat and lose control
You might feel better if you lay down and die
But it don't light a match to getting high
So pass the bong
Let me smoke a bowl
We ended up in Bixby
We never could get home
We just drove around all night getting really really stoned
With bloodshot eyes from getting fried
Eyes as black as coal
Someone hold the wheel while I smoke a bowl
Someone hold the wheel while I smoke a bowl
With a bag of something special we bought from Chris and L
I turned to Todd
And with I nod I said: "I think I'm on a roll
"Someone hold the wheel while I smoke a bowl."
We pulled into a QuikTrip for Cheez Whiz and Saltines
And Mountain Dew and Skor bars
And a tank of gasoline
We pulled away and I tried to say with all my heart and soul:
"Someone hold the wheel while I smoke a bowl."
When you're feeling sad and you're feeling blue let the THC monster take hold of you
Forget about your sorrows and get stoned
Because when your woman leaves you nobody believes you when you try to tell them you're alone
You lost your wife and you home and your dog
Because you dress like a bum and you smell like a hog
Get baked in the driver's seat and lose control
You might feel better if you lay down and die
But it don't light a match to getting high
So pass the bong
Let me smoke a bowl
We ended up in Bixby
We never could get home
We just drove around all night getting really really stoned
With bloodshot eyes from getting fried
Eyes as black as coal
Someone hold the wheel while I smoke a bowl
Someone hold the wheel while I smoke a bowl
Randy (March 20, 2011)
Sunlight breaks into my bedroom
Rub my eyes and shake my head
Put my slippers on one at a time
Brush my teeth and brush my hair as if I'm going anywhere
It's not like being beautiful's a crime
"Good morning everyone
"Let me know when we start having fun."
There's a little laughter in reply
Settle down and take your place
It's Sally's turn to say the grace
No one wants to look me in the eye
Randy is the nice one
He never shouts at anyone
You can tell he's always really listening
He's the one who brings me breakfast every single morning
Next to family that's the most important thing
Saturday's my favorite day (on days I know it's Saturday)
I listen to my records with a friend
Some of us watch movies but I don't do that anymore
I always figure out the way they'll end
Sally is the new girl and she tries to get along
It isn't easy
No one knows it more than me
So far no one believes me but I tell it to them anyway:
It's not the truth that's going to set you free
As long as someone pays your bills
And you shut up and take your pills
And tell them everything they want to hear
You'll have a better chance than me
Now put the needle down and dance with me
Close your eyes and they will disappear
Wednesday is the worst day
I can always tell it's Wednesday because Randy doesn't smile quite as wide
On Wednesdays I'm a basket case
But I put on my bravest face and tell myself we're all on the same side
And 3:00 on Wednesday is the scary part of Wednesday
They mark it on the calendar in red
Take me to Room 101
Buzz-buzz-buzz and then we're done
And then it's lemonade and back to bed
Sunlight breaks into my bedroom
Rub my eyes and shake my head
Put my slippers on one at a time
Rub my eyes and shake my head
Put my slippers on one at a time
Brush my teeth and brush my hair as if I'm going anywhere
It's not like being beautiful's a crime
"Good morning everyone
"Let me know when we start having fun."
There's a little laughter in reply
Settle down and take your place
It's Sally's turn to say the grace
No one wants to look me in the eye
Randy is the nice one
He never shouts at anyone
You can tell he's always really listening
He's the one who brings me breakfast every single morning
Next to family that's the most important thing
Saturday's my favorite day (on days I know it's Saturday)
I listen to my records with a friend
Some of us watch movies but I don't do that anymore
I always figure out the way they'll end
Sally is the new girl and she tries to get along
It isn't easy
No one knows it more than me
So far no one believes me but I tell it to them anyway:
It's not the truth that's going to set you free
As long as someone pays your bills
And you shut up and take your pills
And tell them everything they want to hear
You'll have a better chance than me
Now put the needle down and dance with me
Close your eyes and they will disappear
Wednesday is the worst day
I can always tell it's Wednesday because Randy doesn't smile quite as wide
On Wednesdays I'm a basket case
But I put on my bravest face and tell myself we're all on the same side
And 3:00 on Wednesday is the scary part of Wednesday
They mark it on the calendar in red
Take me to Room 101
Buzz-buzz-buzz and then we're done
And then it's lemonade and back to bed
Sunlight breaks into my bedroom
Rub my eyes and shake my head
Put my slippers on one at a time
Brandy (October 7, 2011)
I met her in a little bar where a compliment wouldn't get you far
We were both alone on New Year's Eve
She was shy and strangely pretty and she'd just gotten to the city
Back when she had something to believe
And after three martinis I moved in for a kiss
It was clumsy
It was something we could feel
Half an hour later we were on her kitchen floor
It wasn't love but it was something real
She'd just moved from Louisville to a studio in Cobble Hill
She told me she'd just had to get away
I came up in the kind of town where normal people settle down
I just needed somewhere I could stay
We moved in by St. Patrick's Day
I quit my second job
We were married well within a year
I felt almost human for the first time in my life
It was starting to make sense to have her near
These days I still think about her but I'm better off without her
Still she made me happy for a spell
I kept the place in Cobble Hill
She's gone home to Louisville
She has her bad days
But she's doing well
I raise a glass of brandy to her every New Year's Eve
I call her up every New Year's Day
It's not much conversation
We just talk about the little things
I guess I've never had that much to say
We were both alone on New Year's Eve
She was shy and strangely pretty and she'd just gotten to the city
Back when she had something to believe
And after three martinis I moved in for a kiss
It was clumsy
It was something we could feel
Half an hour later we were on her kitchen floor
It wasn't love but it was something real
She'd just moved from Louisville to a studio in Cobble Hill
She told me she'd just had to get away
I came up in the kind of town where normal people settle down
I just needed somewhere I could stay
We moved in by St. Patrick's Day
I quit my second job
We were married well within a year
I felt almost human for the first time in my life
It was starting to make sense to have her near
These days I still think about her but I'm better off without her
Still she made me happy for a spell
I kept the place in Cobble Hill
She's gone home to Louisville
She has her bad days
But she's doing well
I raise a glass of brandy to her every New Year's Eve
I call her up every New Year's Day
It's not much conversation
We just talk about the little things
I guess I've never had that much to say
DrunkWired (September 3, 2011)
Look up
Count the tiles
Two by two
I've been here for hours without you
There's no sense explaining why the best and last remaining lie cuts the deepest
(Maybe because it's true)
Laugh until it's not funny anymore
Roll around and spasm on the floor
Rub my eyes until they're raw and can't remember what they saw
I am become death
Yeah hear roar
I taste like Diet Coke and Absolut
I'm sweating through my favorite suit
The smell of cigarette smoke lingers
All I feel are spider-fingers pulling all my hair out root by root
Clutch the ground so I won't start to fly
Spinning into space where I could die
Maybe they'll write songs about me but they'll carry on without me
"He couldn't come down (even from the sky)."
I don't believe them when they say that what I'm feeling now will go away
It's become tomorrow and I haven't killed my sorrow and as far as I know it's still yesterday
Sun and pain are slowly on the rise
There's something moving in my eyes
Lying on my right side now and turning from the white light now
Cut my head off so the body dies
And I'm shuffling out of my skin
And it's growing back again
Count the tiles
Two by two
I've been here for hours without you
There's no sense explaining why the best and last remaining lie cuts the deepest
(Maybe because it's true)
Laugh until it's not funny anymore
Roll around and spasm on the floor
Rub my eyes until they're raw and can't remember what they saw
I am become death
Yeah hear roar
I taste like Diet Coke and Absolut
I'm sweating through my favorite suit
The smell of cigarette smoke lingers
All I feel are spider-fingers pulling all my hair out root by root
Clutch the ground so I won't start to fly
Spinning into space where I could die
Maybe they'll write songs about me but they'll carry on without me
"He couldn't come down (even from the sky)."
I don't believe them when they say that what I'm feeling now will go away
It's become tomorrow and I haven't killed my sorrow and as far as I know it's still yesterday
Sun and pain are slowly on the rise
There's something moving in my eyes
Lying on my right side now and turning from the white light now
Cut my head off so the body dies
And I'm shuffling out of my skin
And it's growing back again
Are You Alive? (May 7, 2011)
I reach across the ocean to the end of the line
Close my mouth and eyes and wait for a sign
Seconds of silence and a heavy sigh
I can hear you smiling
I can hear you cry
And I don't want this night to be our last
But I don't want to give it up so fast
Your pupils turn to pinpoints
Your hands start to shake
You cover up your mouth for appearance's sake
You listen for a question that I can't get out
We're so full of hope
We're so full of doubt
And I open up my mouth and then I stop
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Are you there?
I take a belt of whiskey as I cover the phone
I was kind of getting used to being alone
I finally remember what I wanted to say
I take a deep long breath and fire away
And to hell with every consequence
I haven't tried to come down since
Are you with me?
Are you there?
Close my mouth and eyes and wait for a sign
Seconds of silence and a heavy sigh
I can hear you smiling
I can hear you cry
And I don't want this night to be our last
But I don't want to give it up so fast
Your pupils turn to pinpoints
Your hands start to shake
You cover up your mouth for appearance's sake
You listen for a question that I can't get out
We're so full of hope
We're so full of doubt
And I open up my mouth and then I stop
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Are you there?
I take a belt of whiskey as I cover the phone
I was kind of getting used to being alone
I finally remember what I wanted to say
I take a deep long breath and fire away
And to hell with every consequence
I haven't tried to come down since
Are you with me?
Are you there?
Protest (April 28, 2011)
I don't care about your wife
I don't care about your kid
I don't care about any of the good deeds that you did
I don't care about the animals
I don't care about your friends
I don't care about the politics of how the world ends
I don't care about your problems (be they big or be they small)
So I must protest my friend
You don't know me at all
I don't care about your right to life or privacy or choice
I don't care about your right to let the world hear your voice
I don't care if you're disgusted by the left or the right wing
Or who you think killed JFK and Martin Luther King
I don't care about your thoughts or dreams or if you hear the call
So yeah I must protest my frined
You don't know me at all
I don't care about malfeasance
I don't care about fraud
I don't care how or when or even if you pray to God
I don't care about your diet or how far you can run
I don't care about the name you gave your very favorite gun
I don't care if you ascend to heaven
I don't care if you fall
So I must protest you son of a bitch
You don't know me at all
I don't care about your kid
I don't care about any of the good deeds that you did
I don't care about the animals
I don't care about your friends
I don't care about the politics of how the world ends
I don't care about your problems (be they big or be they small)
So I must protest my friend
You don't know me at all
I don't care about your right to life or privacy or choice
I don't care about your right to let the world hear your voice
I don't care if you're disgusted by the left or the right wing
Or who you think killed JFK and Martin Luther King
I don't care about your thoughts or dreams or if you hear the call
So yeah I must protest my frined
You don't know me at all
I don't care about malfeasance
I don't care about fraud
I don't care how or when or even if you pray to God
I don't care about your diet or how far you can run
I don't care about the name you gave your very favorite gun
I don't care if you ascend to heaven
I don't care if you fall
So I must protest you son of a bitch
You don't know me at all
Queen of the River (February 23, 2011)
Cold air and moonlight
Free from pain
Smell of dirt and quiet patter of rain
Close to the highway
Closer to the day
Waiting until they come and take me away
We're something special
Walking hand in hand
We have a language only we can understand
We have no boundaries
We have no fear
She's always crying
I'm always right here
They say she's sorry that I ever made her mine
That's not what she says
She says she's fine
We dance together as the river rushes by
She's always loved me
I've never asked why
I hold her closer
Close enough to break
Love her more than either of us can take
We come together underneath a tree
She'll always be a part of me
I stand there shaking
Looking around
She's lying silent there on the ground
Queen of the River
King of Tonight
Flashes of darkness
Flashes of light
She's in the water
She's in my soul
She's very quiet but she's in control
She isn't laughing
She's very still
I'll never be an angel but she always will
Free from pain
Smell of dirt and quiet patter of rain
Close to the highway
Closer to the day
Waiting until they come and take me away
We're something special
Walking hand in hand
We have a language only we can understand
We have no boundaries
We have no fear
She's always crying
I'm always right here
They say she's sorry that I ever made her mine
That's not what she says
She says she's fine
We dance together as the river rushes by
She's always loved me
I've never asked why
I hold her closer
Close enough to break
Love her more than either of us can take
We come together underneath a tree
She'll always be a part of me
I stand there shaking
Looking around
She's lying silent there on the ground
Queen of the River
King of Tonight
Flashes of darkness
Flashes of light
She's in the water
She's in my soul
She's very quiet but she's in control
She isn't laughing
She's very still
I'll never be an angel but she always will
Remember When (February 26, 2011)
Another round of shots
Another round of beers
Another chance to wonder what I'm doing here
Half-remembered stories of unforgiven friends
Forget about it
Nothing ever ends
Remember when we did this every other day and never realized we were in each other's way?
The same familiar faces
Half-asleep and half-aware
And they're not going anywhere
I figured everything out only recently
It turns out that at long last I have no decency
No sense of loyalty
No sense of the past
No sense wanting anything to last
I told the one where we got lost on LBJ
That's about when I ran out of things to say and stepped out for a cigarette I didn't want to smoke
When the hell did I become a joke?
I hail a cab and then I somehow climb inside
We said we missed the good old days
I hope to God we lied
I can't say that I miss them but I can't say that I care
All I know is I'm not staying there
Another round of beers
Another chance to wonder what I'm doing here
Half-remembered stories of unforgiven friends
Forget about it
Nothing ever ends
Remember when we did this every other day and never realized we were in each other's way?
The same familiar faces
Half-asleep and half-aware
And they're not going anywhere
I figured everything out only recently
It turns out that at long last I have no decency
No sense of loyalty
No sense of the past
No sense wanting anything to last
I told the one where we got lost on LBJ
That's about when I ran out of things to say and stepped out for a cigarette I didn't want to smoke
When the hell did I become a joke?
I hail a cab and then I somehow climb inside
We said we missed the good old days
I hope to God we lied
I can't say that I miss them but I can't say that I care
All I know is I'm not staying there
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